The girl with the broken smile
by Maureensmithy
Summary: It was a month after the saddest day of Ilse Neumann's life. The day when her best friend and fellow pirate Moritz was lowered into the ground. Ilse cried everyday since, feeling guilty about how she could have prevented his death. If only she had gone to him when she heard him yell her name, Moritz would still be alive. But Ilse didn't and now Moritz is gone forever.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: what up guys, it me maureen. I've been loving spring awakening since last summer it's so relatable (well some of it is), I adore the show. This idea came to me when listening to the cast album and it made this extremely dark and twisted story so enjoy.

warning: this chapter contains strong language and a scene of rape, nothing too graphic but still.

It was a month after the saddest day of Ilse Neumann's life. The day when her best friend and fellow pirate Moritz was lowered into the ground. Ilse cried everyday since, feeling guilty about how she could have prevented his death. If only she had gone to him when she heard him yell her name, Moritz would still be alive. But Ilse didn't and now Moritz is gone forever.

Ilse once radiant completion is now dull, her once bright merry eyes are now puffy and irritated with dark circles that stretch down to her cheek bones, and where her body once looked healthy it now looks like a body of a skeleton. Ilse's dark circles and sudden loss of weight are all to do with the terrifying visions she sees every time she closes her eyes. She can't close her eyes without seeing Moritz corpse with his crimson blood and brains scattered everywhere. This image haunts Ilse every second of the day and will continue to haunt her for the rest of her life, all because she didn't come to him when she heard his screams. Just to get rid of mortifying screams from Moritz that rings through her ears she often bangs her head as hard as she can on the walls, which explains the welt on her forehead.

Ilse always visits Moritz's grave with a fresh bouquet of lavender every Sunday. But nothing would have prepared Ilse for what she would see at the graveyard.

The cold damp grass beneath her feet made every step painful, the harsh winter wind bit at her cheeks making them numb and cold to the touch. The moon and stars illuminated the dark forest. Ilse used to adore the forest because it provided her with some of her fondest memories. the forest was a place where Ilse Neumann no longer existed, but a pirate did. Pirate Ilse and her crew would sail the seven seas and steal treasure from unsuspecting sailers. Ilse briefly smiled as she thought of the long bright summer days she spent there. The forest was also a place where she had her first kiss, his pleasant brown eyes looking right into hers and the feeling of his lips against hers. The boy who share Ilse's very few moments of love and passion is Moritz.

It was a cool autumn day. The orange firery sun blaze upon Ilse head making her feel dizzy and sick. Tears formed in her eyes desperate to spill on her cheeks from her fathers last attack. Her ability to walk and even breathe was a struggle.

Ilse's father came home drunk and need someone to take his frustrations out on. His eyes fell on his daughter. She looked so peaceful curled up by the fire asleep in the living room. "Ilse wake up" he barked at the poor girl. Ilse jumped up with fright when she herd that terrible noise. "I'm sorry Papa" Ilse's body started to tremble and tears poured out of her eyes. "I didn't know I fell asle.." Ilse sentence was cut short by Herr Neumann's fist colliding with her cheek. Ilse screamed at the throbbing pain that corsed through her vains, her hand cluched her swollen cheek. There was nothing she could do next but await her fathers next damaging move. The silence was cut short by Her Nueman's first now punching Ilse violently in the chest. He smiled at the sound of the screams he heard every time his fist made contact with her skin.

After five minuets Ilse lay on the floor hunch in a little ball whimpering with tears streaming down her face. "You're useless. You're a disgrace to this family, me and your mother would rather you were dead so we would never see your pathetic face again. Do you hear me?" He barked at the bruised girl. Ilse tried to force out a reply but talking was too painful for her to even try to say anything, instead she knoded her head. "Good" his lips formed a sly smile as the sickening thought came into head.

Ilse eyes grew in shock as she saw her father drawing near to her, she tried with all her might to run away from him, but she was too weak to move. Ilse knew what was going to happen next and closed her eyes and hoped that the pain would be over soon.

Herr Neumann unbuckled his belt, lowered his pants and forced himself on his daughter. After the unspeakable deed he did to his own flesh and blood, he drew himself from Ilse. He picked up his clothing and left the room, leaving a traumatised quivering wreck on the floor. Ilse staid frozen to the hard wooden floor for nearly a hour, her mind kept on reliving the horrifying experience.

After a hour she convinced herself to get out of the house. With that advice in mind Ilse slowly walked towards the heavy oak door leading to the dark cold street. Ilse slowly pushed open the door trying to make as little sound as possible. She smiled to herself as she saw the streets of freedom, the streets that will lead her to a new life. Ilse glanced behind her to see if anybody could see her, there was not a person in sight. With that pleasant news, Ilse ran for her life down the streets and towards the forrest.

Ilse felt her heart rapidly beating in her her chest and the aching throbbing pain in her ribs, but she knew that she had to keep on running despite all the pain she was in. As soon as she was deep in the forest for anyone to find her, Ilse curled up into a ball and tried to sleep. But everytime she even tried to close her eyes all she could see is her father on top of her looking at her with a sickening grin.

Ilse smiled with relive when she saw the sun rising above the treetops. She got up from the damp ground and walked towards a much more secluded place where no one could find her. A place where she could spend the rest of her life.

"Ilse?" A voice called. Ilse's body froze and her warm blood turned to ice, she prayed that the voice didn't belong to her father. But the voice did not come from the mouth of the monster she called a father, but a quiet brown haired boy called Moritz.

"Hello Moritz" she greeted her friend, but the sadness of her never seeing him again was too much for her so much so that she couldn't look at him. "Ilse it's nearly seven o'clock why are you still in your nightdress?" The young boy asked pointing at his friend's clothes. "Because I have to go away Moritz" she blurted out with a tear trickling down her cheek. "Why?" asked Moritz. "Because I do okay?" Ilse snapped with her voice cracking. "Oh Ilse are you sad because you're hurt?" Moritz asked with a concern tone in his voice, he reach up his hand and gently stroked Ilse throbbing bruised eye, "Who did this to you?". Ilse opened her mouth to respond but closed her mouth and shock her head. As much as she wanted to tell her fellow pirate what a bastard her father was to her last night, but the words wouldn't form in her mouth. "Please Ilse?" This time Moritz didn't give Ilse time to respond to his question, because he placed his lips on her. Ilse was taken back by the kiss but she relaxed and started to kiss the brunette back. She closed her eyes and savoured the way his rough chapped felt against hers and how he tasted of freshly brewed tea.

After what felt like hours and hours of love and passion Moritz pulled away. He looked into her eyes and asked again "who did this to you?". "My father" Ilse whispered she closed her eyes and sobbed. Moritz gaped at her, his eyes wide in shock and he felt his body shaking in rage. He wanted to kill Ilse's father for doing such a disgusting act to his own daughter.

Moritz embraced the quivering girl in his arms. He staid like that for a few minuets with the girl he loved in his arms, he wanted to memorise the way Ilse felt in his warm embrace, but all good things must come to an end.

Moritz held Ilse's chin in his palms and tilted her head to look at him in his eyes. "How long are you going away for? and where too?" He asked as he stroked her cheekbone with his thumb. Ilse stuttered she didn't know how to tell her friend that he'll never see her face after this, "I think I'll be gone forever" she mumbled avoiding eye contact with the boy she loved. "Then I'll be here waiting,forever if I have to if it means we will see each other again" he gave her a gentle smile. His kindness and respect that he showed her in this last few minuets had touch Ilse, so much so that she wants to brake down and cry. But she has to stay strong. "And we will be pirates forever right?" Ilse asked ,well almost pleaded to her friend.

Moritz chuckled "yes let's be pirates. I like that". "Also to answer your question I have no idea where to. So I'll appreciate all suggestions made" she grinned at Moritz. "I heard of a place called Paprika. It's an artist colony, full of people who are different or don't fit into society, like you." Moritz smiled and playfully nudged his friend with his elbow.

"An artist colony?" Ilse question, she looked at Moritz who nodded his head as if to say "yes it would be perfect for you". "It sounds wonderful" Ilse smiled "don't you have school now?".

"Good god! Yes I do, thanks for reminding me" Moritz gasped and started to leave. Before he was almost out of sight he ran back to Ilse and planted a final kiss on her lips. "Goodbye" he said with glassy eyes. Ilse couldn't contain her tears "bye Moritz" she weeped. "Please write to me soon" Moritz yelled from behind his shoulder as he ran off in the direction of the school.

Ilse's flashback ended and reality stetted back in. Ilse tried to close her eyes to relive all these memories she had created with Moritz. But she knew that it wouldn't bring Moritz back. Her eyes filled with more tears and her heart felt that dreadful aching pain. Ilse continued to walked to the grave that belongs to a boy who shouldn't be dead.

A/N: so how was it? Tell me in the comments and also please tell me if you spot any spelling or grammar mistakes, I have dyspraxia so it's not my strongest point. Also I have posted this story on whattpad, so don't think I'm stealing this fic. Well, anyway till next time stay awesome :)

love maureenx


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys I'm back sorry to leave you hanging. I already have six more chapters already written but it's so hard to find time to proof read it, cut certain things or check for mistakes. Knowing me there are still a ton still in there, so if you see any let me know. Side note, my story is a combination between the play and the musical so certain aspects may be confusing if you've only seen the musical. Well anyway let's move on with the story shall we?

Warning: adult language or swearing, really whatever you want to call it

The graveyard looked even more gloomy and dismal in the dark. Ilse carefully stepped over each grave and desperately tried to distract her mind from thinking about how she is above dead bodies, for that thought terrified her deeply.

After moments of her stomach constantly churning at looking at every gravestone, Ilse finally found the plain white marble slate which read:

"Here lies the body of

Moritz Frances Steifel

May his soul forever rest in peace"

Ilse always hated that gravestone because it has nothing nice said about the dead boy who lay beneath it. Moriz was an intelligent, sweet kind hearted boy, who was the best pirate a person could wish for. It felt like no one even cared for him or even bothered to acknowledged his existence.

Ilse gently place the lavender beside his name. "Rest in peace old friend" Ilse weeped "why didn't I come back when I heard your calls? I'm such a bitch I want to kill myself. Oh what would I do to see your face just one more time". Ilse slowly reached into the pocket of the shirt she was wearing and withdrew the silver pistol which she took from Moritz cold dead hands. She gentle stroked the barrel of the gun and brought the gun to her lips, she kissed the cold metal before placing it next to the lavender.

"Ilse you're not a bitch so don't call yourself such a down grading name. You're so beautiful and don't deserve such a horrid name". Ilse eyes grew in shock, she slapped her self hard on the head to stop hearing that painful voice. "Ilse please look at me!" The voice pleaded. "Stop playing such a cruel joke. Well is it funny to bring me pain?" Ilse yelled with her hands clutched over her ears and started to rock back and forth in a ball. "Ilse it me. Please Ilse just look up" the voice begged. Ilse shuck her head and looked above to gravestone to see Moritz.

Ilse screamed at the sight of him. He looked the exact same as he did after he killed himself, the same image that causes Ilse to become a insomniac. "Sorry" he chuckled "I don't look as handsome without most of my head do I?".

"But how? You're there" she asked shakily pointing at the gravestone in front of her. "It's complicated" Moritz sighed and rubbed what was left of his head. "Oh Moritz please forgive me" she sobbed "it's my fault that you're dead". "Ilse. Stop blaming yourself. I was going to kill myself anyway I already planned it before I met you" Moritz explained to his quivering friend. "But why?" Ilse asked through heart retching sobs.

"I failed my end of semester exams which means I'll no longer be welcome into school. My father heard about it he slapped me, he called me a failure and said that he'd want a dead son than a living disappointment. So I decided that I disappointed everyone and the world would be better off with out me. I now regret that decision especially after I've seen how much pain I've put you threw and that I'm sorry" he sighed, Moritz wanted to reach out and comfort her like he used to do. But now if he touched her,Ilse would join him in the afterlife.

Ilse wiped the fallen tears from her cheeks she looked up at Moritz "I've always hated your father" Ilse gave a light hearted laugh. "He was a son of a bitch" Moritz added "it's sweet of you to bring fresh flowers to my grave. It makes me feel like I was loved and that someone used to care about me". "Moritz you will always be loved and cared about. I've missed you a lot and I wish that you were still alive. We made a promise we were going to be pirates together forever" Ilse started to cry again.

"Ilse please forget about me. Please I'll only bring you heartache and the hope of a life that we'll never live. I can see the damage I've already done to you. Look you used to have such a beautiful figure and now it's the figure of a skeleton, your once bright happy eyes are now red and irritated and that purple welt on your forehead you made that because you couldn't sleep because every time you did all you would see is my dead body. Please, Ilse I don't want to hurt you anymore." Moritz sighed and looked at Ilse and tried to convince himself that this was the best idea.

"Shut up" Ilse screamed. Moritz face lit up in horror, he was taken back by her action. "Moritz how can I forget you when you're always on my mind? I love you and I'll never stop loving you." Ilse shouted at the dead ghost in front of her, Ilse reached for Moritz pistol and lifted it to her temple. "How many bullets are left? Please say that there is enough to end this misery." Ilse screamed with tears streaming down her gently tilted her head back and pulled the trigger. She closed her eyes and smiled with the thought of death.

But she could do it. She opened her eyes, threw the gun on the ground and returned into a sobbing ball.

Moritz who had just watch the whole thing felt helpless that he couldn't knock the gun out of her hand or even comfort her, he just prayed that she wouldn't try to kill herself again.

"Goodbye Ilse" Moritz whispered, he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud to the crying girl.

"No please don't say that. Last time you said that you killed yourself. Goodbye doesn't bring pleasant things to me" Ilse pleaded at Moritz in hope that he could say "I'm really alive Ilse and I will never leave you again".

Ilse looked up at the ghost only to find out that he left her. Ilse started to question wither Moritz was there or not?, or if she was going insane?. She picked up the gun of misery and ran into the forest.

Melchior was alone in his room. It was completely still apart from the roars from the fire and the sound of a quill being dragged on a page.

The slighlence was disturbed by the sound of a fist pounding on the oak door that lead to Melchior's room.

"Yes?" Melchior asked the person who stood the other side of the door.

"Melchior it's me sweetie. A letter has came addressed to you" his mother responded. "Very well come in" Melchior placed the quill into a pot of ink and turned to face the door.

Melchior's mother placed the envelope that read his name on the fount on his desk. "Dinner will be at six" she announce before existing the room. Melchior waited till he could no longer hear the sound of his mothers shoes hit the tiles that covered the hall. When her foot steps were no longer audible, he cousily opened the envelope.

The letter read:

Dear Melchi

I know it's been a long time since you have heard from me. You're probably wondering how its possible for me to talk to you. But there is something I have to tell you, Ilse is becoming dangerously thin and is looking more like death every day. She's been like this ever since she found my body, she screams in her sleep and she is constantly crying, she is trying to kill herself. I know that because Ilse came to visit my grave yesterday baring flowers for me, she withdrew the same gun I used to end my life from her shirt and pointed it to her temple. Ilse burst into more tears and threw the gun on the ground.

I'm scared Melchi because she is a beautiful girl with a bright future ahead of her, I don't want to see her dead. Please Melchi for the sake of our friendship please promise me this, that you will take Ilse into your home and protect her and to make sure she doesn't try to kill herself. Please Melchi surely you don't want to see another death of a friend? Do you? If you agree to this deal you will find her in the artist colony in Paprika. Just look for a skeleton like girl with blood shot eyes and a broken smile. If you do let her into your home I'll be internally grateful.

Yours sincerely

Moritz

Melchior finished reading the letter with confusion. "How can Moritz contact me though death? Or is this a sick joke somebody is playing on me?" He thought to himself.

"Well who else knew of ilse's whereabouts? Or that much detail of her current appearance?".

Melchior decided to grant his dead friend's wish by looking for Ilse tomorrow after school.

So tell me what did you think? Good? Bad? I want to know. Also if you are confused the reason why Moritz can't touch ilse is because in the play in the final scene Melchior just finds out about Wendella's death and Moritz apears (holding his head). He tells Melchior that being a ghost is that bad and that they should shake hands. It is later revealed that if Melchior did shake Moritz's hand he would die. Also in the play Ilse says to Martha at the funeral that she saw Moritz dead body and took his gun as something to remember him by.

Till next time, stay awesome

maureen xxx


End file.
